


Rookies

by Sombereyes



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 03:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sombereyes/pseuds/Sombereyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The air was sticky...the sun shined, all that I knew back then, was that her eyes were closed as she tilted her face to the sky, letting the rain fall on her. The droplets slid down, and even though I knew they weren't tears, sometimes, I wondered if they were...I wondered, if that woman could no longer cry, because of something...and if it was...what could it be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I know they aren't a real pairing in the series, but Riza and Ross just fit so very well together, that I do see it as a possibility...anyway, there just doesn't seem to be enough Riza/Ross love here on the FFN, and that saddens me...so I thought I would post up another little story for them. It's a short story, so only a few chapters, but, I felt inclined to do it, so here it is.
> 
> An odd thing to note about this, is that while I was writing this first chapter, I had one of Vic's piano melodies playing in the background...if you happen to have the CD, Selah...Music for the Quiet Time, the first song on that CD, The Water's Edge, is what I'm listening to...if you can't get a hold of it, no biggie, it really isn't relevant to the story...just a funny little side note to all who love his artistic work as a whole...though if you do have the CD, pop it into your player, and have it playing on repeat on a low volume...it can only add to the experience.
> 
> I don't own FMAB.

**Chapter 1**

"I like Ed, really, I do." Winry said then, with a soft blush on her face, as she fumbled with a ordered piece of equipment, a special one. "I'm just not sure if he's really settled down yet." With a shrug, and a grew grumbles, she put down her tiny little screwdriver, picking up a different one to work on another small bit. "He's just returned home, so, even if he thinks he's back for good, sometimes, I doubt that. You know how Ed is."

"Our men will always be like that, Winry." Riza nodded, her voice soft, as she watched the engineer work. "They're always inquiring, always seeking out new things. I don't have any doubt in my mind, that Ed still feels inclined to go on more adventures." She too, offered her own little dismissal of their antics, and sipped on her coffee. "Thank you though, for always helping the military out. We do appreciate this."

"It's nothing." Winry said, shaking her head with a small smile. "I like to help, and, it keeps me busy." She put the metal fitting she was working on atop the table, and sighed, getting up to pick out a few more pieces for her current project. "Now, I know Havoc's used to having nearly full supports on his knees to help keep him balanced, but if he's ever going to be able to use his legs fully, I would suggest surgery. Perhaps even a fully automatic leg, from the knee down." Winry licked her lips then, and inspected the oil she was about to use as she came back to sit down at the table. "While it may be true that his body was healed, he's like Alphonse in that you can't ignore the fact that some tissues simply don't regenerate...even with alchemy, the damage is done." Winry replied with a sigh, returning to her work. "He'll be unable to walk in a few years, his knees just aren't good anymore."

"He wants to be able to do all the things he could before." Riza told Winry with a soft smile. "I know you don't normally work with rehabilitation fittings such as these, but, we needed something a little more robust."

"I can see that." Winry laughed slightly, the bent ones Riza had shown her were enough proof. "I can fashion him some sturdy supports, but, I think he would benefit from actual automail fittings." Offhandedly, she looked up at Riza again, with a soft smile, before she began to appear troubled. "The younger a person is, when the fittings are put in, the better. You see, we have to drill the fixtures into the bone, and furthermore, we have to attach the actual nerves themselves to that fixture. It isn't an easy procedure for an entire leg fitting, but it if it's only for the knee down, it actually becomes quite a bit more simplistic."

"He might indeed go for it, what with wanting to come back and stand with Roy." Riza chuckled softly at that, knowing Havoc had all but begged to come back after he'd seen a glimmer of hope. "Jean's a very intrusting man in that." Although, Riza assumed many of her friends were that way. "Though, I assume the same can be said for Maria. She went back to Xing, I never thought she would go back there, but she found someone she was interested in."

"I thought she'd rather be with Denny?" Winry was a bit confused at the news, though in truth, she wasn't very close to the woman who's beauty mark was iconic for all who knew her.

"That's complicated." Riza said with a smirk. "Almost as complicated as Roy and myself." Her voice, a gentle monotone, took her back, just a little bit. "She's a ghost here, Winry. Her parents can't ever know the truth, and Denny is the type of man that just can't support her. He has other things he simply needs to do." Much like Roy, if she were honest, and Maria was simply not the type to have the luxury to wait around anymore. Her days protecting that which she cherished were over, at least, when it came to Denny. "Besides, she had a new person to follow now. Xing has become her home, and she's become quite smitten with Lan Fan."

"They're..." Winry averted her eyes. "I never knew...I thought she was..." Winry took a steadying breath. "I thought Lan Fan was more enamored with her prince."

"That too, is complicated." Riza smiled then, taking Winry's discomfort in stride. "How can I put this?" It was a harrowing question, because the matter was delicate, but finally, Riza settled on her answer. "Lan Fan is like Maria and I, in that, we had things...have things, we want to protect." She took another sip of the warm drink in hand as she crossed one leg over the other. Looking down at her boot briefly, she came to a very personal conclusion. "As much as Lan Fan may hold true honest feelings for him, she can't very well act on them. The prince has his place, ans she has hers." She closed her eyes, the admittance was the same. "Roy has his place, and I have mine...you can't very well watch a person's back, if you're standing in front of him after all."

"No, I suppose you can't." Winry agreed, though she was unsure just what to make of that entire situation. "Two women...it seems a bit..." Winry finally huffed. "Weird."

"I suppose for you, it would be, but even I've been enticed to the female persuasion before." Riza told her, carelessly unabashed, as the blush on Winry's cheeks grew deeper. "Even I've shared a romance, in a way, with another woman...it was Maria too, if you can believe that."

"I can't." Winry murmured then. "It seems off, somehow."

"Hmm." Riza nodded as she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. "Maybe. I was young then, and, lonely." Riza offered, in the way of an excuse. "Still, I can't deny the feeling, even if it has passed now. Back then, I felt something for her. Not right away mind you." No, it was a slow build into a raging fire. "The relationship was right for the time, if that makes sense." She could imagine herself there, once again in the training yard. The sounds of the superior officers bellowing, the women at her side just as rung out, exhausted, as she herself had been...some were even collapsed on the mud covered ground.

" _Those drills were pretty harsh, weren't they?"_ The sound of Maria's voice came back to her so easily. Her touch was something that Riza still dreamed about, sometimes, but the memories while fond, stayed only that...needed to be only that.

"I first met her while we were both breathless, on another rainy afternoon." Riza murmured, recalling that day perfectly. "Breakfast was horrid, our feet hurt, my heart was pounding, and couldn't tell the difference between the sweat on my body, and the rain that kept pelting down over us." She could see herself in her attire, the mud, the puddles, and the slippery rope the girls were climbing in a line not far away. "I could taste the salt on my upper lip, I was soaked to the bone, and my hair was freshly cut, so it was a lot shorter than it is today. Hell, my hair was as short as Roy's back then. I wanted it all off, because it was easier to keep clean that way."

She recalled what she said. _"No more than usual."_ She'd said it, meaning to sound as if I wasn't phased, but really, I was just as tired as Maria was, and not just a little depressed, either.

"The men and women don't go through basic training together, we were divided up, and torn from everything we knew...so, even though I signed my life away, attempting to follow Roy into the military, there was a long span of time that I was without him. I wasn't exactly a gifted killer, I wasn't skilled in that trade. Now, I claim the eyes of a hawk, but back then, I couldn't even shoot a huge billboard, let alone a target." Riza recalled as she kept her eyes closed. If she had opened then, she would see the other woman watching her intently, engrossed in her words.

"I'm sure to her, at that time, I was just some sniffling little girl, who didn't know my place. She was older than me, at least a little, and I could tell with the way she held a gun, that she had plenty of determination. There was something about the trigger...something that bothered me. I'm not sure why, but, even now, even though I don't hesitate, I think about everything I've done...how much, I've changed." She let her eyes slip open, and shyly, she felt like that same young woman all over again. "Anyway, that day was the first time I'd ever spent time talking to any of the other recruits. We were rookies, and unlike the state alchemists, who had their own branch of qualifications, were drilled day in, and day out. Rain or shine, and I knew going in, I was going to be conditioned into a killer, at least, in some ways. I'd never really worried about it, not all that much, anyway."

"I would, I can't imagine it." Winry said then, going back to her work. "I don't think I could be that brave...but then again, I think, killing is sometimes just the cowards way out."

"Being near Roy, supporting him, that was my goal...I would have given anything to get to that place, so I could stand by his side." Riza sighed, knowing that she had attained that goal, but now her task was ongoing. "It was so much my fixation, that I hadn't thought to really make a lot of friends at first, so, when Maria said something to me, I felt a little strange. Like I was back in school again, learning how to talk to someone else for the first time." With a soft laugh, Riza shook her head at her own foolishness. "The air was sticky...the sun shined, all that I knew back then, was that her eyes were closed as she tilted her face to the sky, letting the rain fall on her. The droplets slid down, and even though I knew they weren't tears...sometimes, I wondered if they were...I wondered, if that woman could no longer cry, because of something...and if it was...what could it be?"

"It sounds like you love her, even now." Winry smiled at that, seeing a paused look of confusion. Riza seemed to consider that. "You're a romantic at heart, aren't you, Riza?"

"What makes you say that?" Riza was now interested in the stunning gaze of the mechanic, one that was leveled at her with a look of pure conspiracy.

"Hmm." Winry had now completed one of the fittings, and went on to grab some metal plates so that she could begin to work on the other. "I think it's because you get all doleful...kinda like Ed. There's just, I don't know, really. It's not a sadness...but, I wouldn't say it's whimsical either." Pulling one slender lip between her teeth, Winry regarded Riza with a moment's hesitation. "It's very odd...cold and yet, warm, at the same time...I'm not making any sense, am I?" Winry laughed then. "Anyway, did you ever find out why she looked that way?"

"I didn't know, because, I just didn't ask." Riza told Winry easily. "There wasn't any point, and I understood that. Even if there was thunder in the distance, I didn't care to wonder, or to worry, about those types of things. I didn't think that it might be her screams." Riza knew the truth now, but she wouldn't utter it. "It wouldn't matter, even if I did ask, she's not that kind of woman to draw attention to herself." After licking her lips, she'd finally come to a conclusion. "I don't love her, Winry...I needed her at the time." Then, with a vexed breath, she amended the statement. "We needed each other, at the time."

"It sounds troubling to me..." The younger blond said with a sigh. "But I still think you love her."

Riza frowned deeply at that. "I can say honestly, that the reason she and I became friends, was because we shared a lot of things in common. Some things, she and I will never tell the boys because, really, that part is behind us...it's a secret among women." Still, her young friend was perceptive it seemed. "Maria and I...there was a time, I admit, that we were more than friends...not exactly lovers though. It's hard to explain."

"If you want to tell me, I'm all ears." Winry told her, looking up from her project. "After all, we do have several hours to whittle away."

"Well, I suppose if I can speak to Ed about personal matters regarding the war, I can most certainly tell you about my days in basic training." Riza shrugged as she licked her lips, getting up to make something more to drink. "It starts off with understanding that I was still just a late teenager, when I entered the military academy as a cadet. I wanted to believe in a lot of things back then, Winry. The truth is, a lot of what I held close to my heart back then, just didn't pan out..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"The funny thing is, Winry, is that I've no idea where exactly to begin." Riza shrugged as she regarded the mechanic in front of her. "The thing you have to remember about Maria, is that she's a very plain woman. She doesn't like to stand out, and, she's also very happy to just blend into the atmosphere. She doesn't mind, not being noticed. We shared a tent back then, a small one. I had the top bunk, because I didn't mind high places...she had the lower bunk, because she liked to hide letters to her parents under her bed. I think she was afraid of many things back then, I was too. Now, during basic [training](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9349608/2/Rookies), we never saw a lot of each other."

"Too busy pumping iron, huh?" It was meant purely as a joke, but when Riza suppressed a laugh, Winry wasn't so sure.

"We worked out together a lot." Riza went on to explain. "But, no. You see, even if we were with each other a lot, the truth is, during the day we were run ragged. During meal time, we scarfed down our food, studied for our tests, and we were total strangers to each other. During yard, we couldn't catch our breath fast enough, let alone share words." No, if that was all their days consisted of, Riza was sure that she never would have made it past basic [training](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9349608/2/Rookies). "We got up early before the sun came up every morning...but to be honest, it was when the sun went down, that Maria and I actually got to know each other."

…

"You'll go bug eyed if you keep staring like that." Riza said as she leaned over her bunk, noticing the way Maria held a folded note. The creases were agonizing. It seemed to bother the woman greatly. Her eyes yearning to burn a hole through the otherwise inconsequential, white obstruction that kept one, Mara Ross, unduly agitated. "What did they say, anyway?" Riza was not a daft woman in many respects, but, she was rather unsure of pleasantries. She didn't share them with others often, preferring to rely on clipped responses.

"They think I should come home." Maria sighed, knowing that to be the case, as it was with every letter. "My mother sent another package." She explained, holding up the cookie tin so that Riza could sample one of the tasty confections, that only a mother's love could have prepared. "My dad's complaining about his gulf tournament, and how he lost." The hand that was holding the paper landed with a muted thud on her bed and she couldn't up but let her eyes wander over the mattress that Riza was resting on, the metal support bars an interest in and of themselves. "Life at home is the same as always."

"At least you know people love you." Riza told her, with a sad and knowing little smile. "There isn't anything you can use to replace that...really."

"Come to think of it, I never see you write letters, or phone home." They had so little time, but, Maria still hasn't seen Riza attempt to connect with her family. "Aren't your parents worried about you?"

"They're no longer among the living. I have no one else to worry over me." Riza kept her words simple, and perhaps that in and of itself made them all the more depressing. After all, who wouldn't mourn something so lonely? "My mother died when I was still quite young, and my father passed on recently." She rolled herself to lay on her back, mostly so that she wasn't an open book to the woman underneath her. With an offhanded laugh, she didn't think it to be as saddening as others thought. "My extended family is essentially nonexistent in my life." Though, she did feel the pangs of her repressed feelings often, she thought it best not to share. "That's why I joined up...I had no other place to be, so I figured...why not?"

"You didn't have any other reason?" It seemed lacking, in some way. "That's gotta be pretty lonely, Riza." Maria was not the most feeling woman, but, she knew well enough when true sadness came forth in the things unspoken. "I can't imagine what it would be like, not having anyone to confide in, no one to really go to. Kind of sad, isn't it?" She wouldn't be able to stand such a life.

"I don't believe that it is." Riza said with a shrug "I think it's more lonely for you." In that, she thought, she'd hit the nail on the head. "I have no one around to wait for me...but you have a family." She could be naive, allow herself the simplicity of the matter. "People miss you, and want you back home."

"Home is lonely too." Maria just chuckled. "My family means well, and all...but, I wanted to get out and see the world. I don't know if I can be a help to people, or, where this training may take me." In fact, Maria found that to be the best part. "However, I do know that I don't want to be reliant on my family forever, and I most certainly don't want to be thought of an incapable. I'm sure, I made the right choice."

"If that's what you think." Such a statement might have sounded uncaring, but really, it was just Riza's way. She was unable to tell Maria to go home, that the military was no place for a woman life herself. Riza knew that same truth applied to her own lost soul, and she would have to conform greatly, and adhere to the regulations to be noticed...

To be kept.

…

"Honestly, Winry...I sometimes think back to that night, and I know that's when it all began." Riza smiled sadly. "Every night, we would talk, but, I was always on the top bunk." She put down her coffee. "As long as I was on the top bunk, looking at the ceiling, then I know she couldn't see me." With a small sigh, she thought back to the days after the war, when she herself had grown a great deal. She remembered when she first met Winry, and the girl, while young, had presented some very interesting questions back then. She pulled out her side arm, and put it on the table. "Do you remember the things you asked me, the first time I ever set foot into this house?"

"Of course I do." Winry replied a she paused, and swallowed the lump in her throat. "I couldn't ever forget it, even if I wanted to."

"You reminded me of myself." Riza said, as if that answer had been a long time coming. Cradled, and protected, for several long years. "I never gave any mind to the reasons why I thought that...but when I first met you, talking with you, it reminded me of a time before the war." She had held onto it for so very long. "When I was just a rookie, in a lot of ways, I was still very much a child...I know that now. The war, it made me grow up...so, by the time you met me, I'd already been turned into a jaded killer." Riza knew though, just how deep the line cut. How both right, and wrong, the statement could be considered. "As a cadet, I took everything with this sort of severity...as if, everything I had been told was forthright...that it couldn't be questioned, or changed." She knew otherwise...had been reminded otherwise by children...it was such a crock when she put her mind to that conclusion.

"Anyway, now I know the truth." Riza continued. "My point to that, is this." Riza took a breath, and felt herself missing something in the depth of her heart, and such a voice slipped from her lips, though she hadn't meant for it to. "Before Maria went back to Xing, I pulled her aside. I asked her, if she still made the right choice."

"What did she say?" Winry's voice trembled a bit, thinking of the worst.

"She told me, that the answer didn't matter." Riza reported with tight words, and laced vexation. "That it was her choice, so, even if it ended up the way things did, she couldn't regret it." Riza knew the truth. "Even if her name is cleared, to the world, she's still dead and never coming back...you and I, we know she's still a human being, one who has feelings...but most people wouldn't think that." The judgmental world around them being what it was, those facts could only be expected. "I can rationalize things away all I want, but the truth is, regretting anything is pointless in our line of work...if it's people you've killed, or lives you've destroyed...regret still means nothing. You can't put things back together."

"That's a sad way to think about it." Winry had little she could offer, feeling a bit speechless at such a confession.

"It's the easy way to think about it." Riza finally admitted. "Any other way, and, then you've gotta start second guessing every little move you make. As much as it's important to atone for mistakes, it's also important to draw a very fine line." It wasn't of any monumental concern, surely. It wasn't like she could go back and save every life, because if Ed had proven anything in his quest, it was that being dead is final. Nothing could change that. "When I was in basic training, they were shipping young men and women out to the south, for the war of extermination. They wanted people so badly, they started pulling even the freshest of recruits into battle. We lost a lot of good men and women, just because they hadn't completed basic."

…

"Any more, and we won't even have a military anymore." Maria sighed, hearing of the newest set that had been dispatched. "There's got to be a better way."

"There is." Riza began slowly, holding her first piece of mail that she'd ever received while inside the reformatory known as basic training. "A friend of mine, an alchemist, he's being shipped out."

"That's the last thing this war needs." Maria was in the middle of doing situps on her bed when she paused, and stood up. Her chest would rise and fall sharply, as she panted just a little from the excursion. She could see the trouble turning in Riza's eyes, and glanced briefly at the hand written letter, that looked to be three pages or so in length. "State alchemists will only draw out pure and utter destruction...that's not what I meant by finding a better way."

"They'll get conclusions quickly." Riza could admit that much, she knew well that Roy was going to be a tool well utilized, without a doubt. "The man who sent me this, he's an alchemist capable of doing awesome things...frighteningly powerful flames. My father taught him directly, and in all honesty, I know first hand, that if he uses his knowledge in the war, he alone could tear that place apart." She folded Roy's words hastily, and grumbled a little to herself. "Roy's an idiot, sometimes...but, he's also a very good man, and he hates the very idea that he's going to be shipped, knowing what he'll be doing."

"I thought most of that information was confidential." Maria wondered allowed, when Riza stuffed everything into her pillow.

"It's between the lines." Her tone was clipped, yet soft. "Roy always talks in code, very cryptic, just like my father when it counts."

"You've got a thing for him." Maria frowned at the blond. "How long?"

"I don't have 'a thing', at least not for Roy." Riza shook her head. "He's just a good friend."

"Friend zoned the poor man, did you?" Maria laughed at that, her voice so filled in melody when she was at ease with the world. "I don't believe that for a second...not with the way you've been sighing over that letter for the past few hours." There were many reactions that Maria expected to see from her much younger roommate, but, she wasn't expecting to see the small fragility that seemed to stay hidden well. The only reason she could tell it was there, was because of Riza's momentary faltering before she jumped down from her bunk. "You love him, don't you?"

"No." Riza sighed at great length. "I don't." She licked her lips as she turned to face the inquisitive stare that met her so searingly. Wishing perhaps, to burn away the chilly mask. "I've known him a long time, but, it honestly isn't like that. I admire him, and I think he's a great man, with high aspirations." She felt connected to him, that was no doubt. "I just don't think about him like that."

"Oh...okay." Maria looked away them, just a bit shyly. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were otherwise inclined."

"I'm not gay!" Riza all but bellowed as loud as she could. "I'm so not gay...I'm just not into Roy, that's all." She huffed out a breath. "What made you think that I was?"

"Well, for started, you always use the showers when no one else is around." Maria was confused, because her roommate often acted out of order, lacking perhaps in any true rhyme or reason. "You dress in the corner, and you're so guarded around everyone." Maria was lost for a better way to use her words. "You're always so secretive, it's hard to tell with you." Finally Maria just smiled and shrugged. "I just figured, that you might feel uncomfortable, if that was the reason...I don't have a problem with it...I just thought if it wasn't Roy, it might be someone else."

"There's no one else." Riza looked at the clock and went to go put on her boots. "Speaking of showers, they're probably empty now."

"There you go again." Maria told her. "Hiding from everyone, as if you have no one you can really trust."

"You don't understand." A cold, embittered retort wasn't what she had been aiming for, it it was what slipped out of her lips. "Even if I told you, I doubt you could come to terms with it." She sighed, crossing her arms more in protection, rather than anger. "Hell, even I can't, and I'm the one who-" Riza clipped off her words, and swallowed harshly with an intake of breath. "Never mind." She breathed then, before heading out of the tent's flap. "Don't worry about it."

…

"My father tattooed some of his best work on my back." Riza told Winry simply, having since come to terms with the horrible scar that was on her back as a result of her father's research. She was alright with the scarred truths, as long as they hid the code that was longingly sought after. "Flame alchemy is very dangerous, and my father always warned me about it back then...he told me never to show an unworthy soul. However, he never exactly took the time to tell me just who it should rightfully belong to." It was all in the past now, where it belonged. "Later in my life, Roy burned the most important part of that array on my back...however, when I was in basic, I felt the urge to protect it. I think when I pushed Maria away continually, it became the catalyst for everything."

"You really do understand Ed and Al." Winry couldn't sit still at that admission, standing to pace before she stopped at her window sill. "You get them..." There was something about that, barely there at all, but still nagging in the back of her mind. "I never did that well, but I think it was because I love Ed." Winry shook herself of her mental disarray, and turned to face the sharpshooter. "So, you fell in love with a woman, and..." Winry trailed off, unsure of herself.

"Quite the contrary, I became ill." Riza finally sighed. "So ill, in fact, that even once I was released from the infirmary, I was still weak. During that time, Maria followed me every place I went, mainly because she was under orders to do so." It was a very carefully place admission, and one Riza wasn't proud of. "She saw everything of me, all that I wanted to hide, and she pulled out this side of me...and I wasn't comfortable with it. I felt so fragile, and she was skilled at continuing to make my mind run amok."

"Love never is easy." Winry agreed.

"No, it's not at all." Riza smiled then. "However, what else could you expect of it?"


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"I had almost wanted her to see through me, in some ways at least." Riza sighed as she looked down at the dough she was rolling out. "I was withdrawn because I had been wanting to grow stronger. I think I needed to see if I could really make any sort of difference in my life." Her memories, like a gateway, were vivid, even when she didn't want them to be. "I pushed myself so hard, I think, that's why I became ill. I wanted to be proud of myself for something, and I wanted that one thing to become my everything. My entire world, I guess you could say."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Winry told her. "I felt the same way about being a mechanic...I felt even more motivated to do a good job after Ed got hurt so much. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be better, so that I could keep him safer."

"Yes, well you're different than I am." Riza couldn't recall how many bullets she had fired off. How many rounds met their mark? She lost count. How many more of them missed? She was unsure. One thing was clear. "Single minded focuses like that, aren't worth my time. They seem to only bring me trouble." Her name, her title, and and her reputation were earned not by her skill, but instead by her devotion. "They say I have eyes like a hawk, but the truth is, I'm as blind as can be." The smirk she wore, a testament to her own loathing on the matter. "I can't see ahead of myself, where I'm going, or what I'll face next. Back then, Maria was my only enemy, and I saw her clearly. I didn't need a scope, either."

"No, you probably didn't." Winry didn't understand. "I still don't see why that's a bad thing though. Did you and Maria get into some sort of fight?"

"Life is far easier if you can learn to stop learning." She grabbed the cup of tea that sat off to the side, before taking a sip, and then returning to rolling out the dough for some wonderful baked goods. "There comes a time when it doesn't matter how much you know, the facts are still there, and that won't ever change."

"So, she got through to you, but it took being sick to do it?" Winry still felt lost within the look that seemed to transcend time. Riza could reach back into those memories, such a thing was interesting to the mechanic, captivating because it lingered in their air like an unspoken, futile admission. A confession of love, even now, still seemed to perch someplace within Riza's heart. Some how, she had not let go, and it was all the more difficult because of it. "Why couldn't you trust her?"

"I wanted to." Riza smiled a bit sadly. "I truly did, but, my mind was on Roy. My dreams were on his shoulders, and I felt as if there was nothing left I could do but get better...if only so that I could follow him."

"She did eventually find the real you under the mask, right?" Winry asked. "That's got to count for something."

"I suppose, there is some merit to that, but it's inconsequential to the truth of the matter. Maria tried to baby me...she coddled me, so, eventually, she had to see the real side of me." A withdrawn shrug was the best Riza could do. "When she did, I couldn't hide from her...without any other choice, I had to open up."

…

"That tattoo..." Maria gasped as she saw for the first time, the hints of something just underneath Riza's shirt. "That is what it is, right?"

"It is." The blond spoke darkly. "Alchemy. It's my father's research." She didn't know why, but the gun that sat at maria's him, her side arm, looked enticing. "It was the sin he left me." Riza weakly held out her hand to crass the cold metal in vain, and shook her head. "A curse he wanted me to protect."

"You couldn't have kept it a secret forever." Maria told her, lifting up Riza's shirt to get a better look. "The military knows about this?"

"Yes, but even so, it isn't as if they can understand it." She protected it fiercely, but her father had been a very wise man. "They could take all the photos they want, and read any book in the world, they'd still never be able to decode his work." No, she knew just how good the military was, but even so, he aimed to thwart them at every turn. He believed in his research profoundly. "His notes were never written down, he said it would be best to be forgotten, and still, he left the traces of his ambitions on my back."

"Why?" Young recruits, that's all they were...Maria's youth could be reflected in times like this. "Why would you enlist knowing you have something this powerful on your back?"

"Because it is powerful." Riza told her, a hushed whisper. "It's the only power I have in this world, even if I can't use it."

"That's an odd thing to say." Maria sat down on the edge of Riza's bed, her feet hanging off the edge. The ceiling was nearby, the top bunk was really too tall for comfort. "You're not a weak person, Riza. You've got goals, just like the rest of us, and you want to achieve them. You would hard to make yourself stronger every day." She shook her head. "There's nothing weak about that." As if to add a little humor into her voice, she smiled softly. "You even insisted on keeping your bunk, even though you had trouble climbing into it after you got back from the infirmary."

"I'm not strong." Riza looked away from her bunk mate. "If I were a strong person, I would be in Ishval right now."

"You aren't fighting near your friend, and so, you think you're a weak person?" Maria's eyes hardened, but she nodded, pulling her sidearm from her belt. "Then all you need to do is become stronger." She put the gun in Riza's lap, a frowned a bit. "It's true, none of us are ready to see that war, but one day, Riza, we will be. Make sure you're the kind of woman that can pull the trigger, and I know you'll be strong enough to fight by his side."

"I wonder that." Riza's voice wavered, and Maria could see the hints of longing there, things Riza didn't want to express.

"You think too much." Tentatively she reached out to brush a stray eyelash from Riza's cheek. "You should make a wish."

"You are such a child." It made her crack a true smile, even thought it was a fleeting one. "You're too playful to be in the military."

"You're too serious." Maria blew the eyelash off of her finger, and then leaned in a bit, gifting Riza a quick peck on the cheek. "Playfulness is the only way to get by."

…

"That was the nice thing about Maria." Riza told Winry, a bit uneasy to feel a warmth spread in her chest at the thought of such a time. "She didn't need much, because she was insightful. She was a valuable person to Ed because of that side of herself too." It seemed so far away now. "Maria always seemed to know what to say, even if she was a bit more easy-going than I knew how to deal with."

"What is it like to have a person such as that in your life?" Winry wished she knew, never having had one around. Both of the brothers were deep souls. "Ed and Alphonse weren't very playful as kids. They always had their noses in those complicated books. They were obsessed, even when their mother was alive to be with them."

"I believe, even then, they were trying desperately to use alchemy to fill the voids in their lives." Riza considered just what it was about alchemy that seemed to attract lonely people by nature. "Their father, he left when the boys were young, didn't he?"

"Yes." Winry sighed. "He left, and they began going into his study more and more. The next thing I knew, they were transmuting all sorts of things by using the floor, or dirt to draw circles." She used to fear it, and the science that interested those boys so much. She'd known all too well of the danger, and even at that, she couldn't have stopped them.

"It's nice to have a person that can smile though the hardships." Riza finally settled on saying. "It isn't something easily forced, and those who can do it because they see good at the end of the tunnel are very special people. Maria Ross was one such woman, but I've been blessed with many." It was a depressing fact, however, that most of those people were ripped away from her. "They come and go, Winry, but they're the kind of people that keep me from giving up...so it's alright to let them go on their way."

"I guess." Winry sighed, a pout forming on her face.

"Anyway, the kiss she gave me confused me a little bit." Riza continued. "I was afraid it might mean something more...and I got the feeling that she may be getting attached to me, though, at the time I had no idea why, so I approached her...I asked her if she was starting to fall for me, or something strange like that."

…

"You think what?" Laughter broke out through the tent. "No, it's nothing like that. I promise."

"Well, if it isn't, why are you always trying to take care of me?" Riza asked then, a soft blush on her cheeks, a bit flustered, not to mention annoyed for asking such an out of the blue question. "Not to mention you've been following me around all the time, and even helping me with my marksmanship."

"I think of you as a friend." Maria told her easily enough. "Besides, you told me you weren't into women, remember?"

"Yeah." Now Riza just felt stupid.

"Then why would I even let myself get close to you if I knew I would get hurt?" The question stayed in the air until finally Maria shrugged moving to stand in Riza's line of vision as she climbed up the ladder of the bunk bed. She kept a clam smile on her face. "You don't have to worry, I'm not gay either, you know." Still, as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at Riza's bandages, trying to be sure all of them were still fresh, she let a little bit of her honesty show though. "I just think it's nice to have someone to fall back on."

"Maria, some of the things you do...they're questionable." Riza still couldn't bring herself to look her in the eyes for longer than a moment.

"It's cold tonight." They were both in their pajamas and the air was chilly, so when Maria edged closer to clutch at the covers, Riza didn't think of it much at first. "So excuse me if I do questionable things." Before Riza knew it, Maria was slipping under the covers with her.

"Wh-what are you doing?" She jumped a little, wincing as her head hit the top of the tent. "Maria, sleep in your own bed."

"It's nice to have warmth." She pulled Riza back down, and before the blond knew it, she was wrapped in Maria's embrace. "You're not as cold as you think you are either, Riza."

"If you think this is a game, I don't think this is very funny." With a sigh, she tried to pull out of the hug, but all that ended up happening was that Maria held her even tighter. "If we get caught, we'll get into trouble."

"Then be quiet, and then no one will know." Maria whispered, running her fingers through short blond tresses. "I'm just trying to go to sleep, that's all."

…

"It was easy things like that." Riza said simply. "Maria was good at dealing with me, and with those boys...because she could nurture that uneasy side of us. Firm, but never completely overbearing." Riza also knew she'd learned a lot from Maria in that regard, and employed such tactics often.

"You still say that you don't love her..." Winry was highly doubting it. "It's written all over your face that you do."

"There are things I love about Maria." Riza told Winry candidly. "Just like there are reasons I love Ed, Alphonse, Roy...everyone...even you."

Winry averted her gaze at that, a deep blush tinging her cheeks. "I'm sure you would never feel anything for me...and even if you did, I doubt you'd share anything like you did with her."

At that, the softest smile Riza could find within her heart pulled at her lips. She made her way over to Winry, and pulled the younger woman into a tight embrace that was not nearly crushing, but filled with emotion that Riza hardly felt the need to gift. "If you ever needed me, if I could help you in anyway...I would do whatever it took to be there for you." She spoke into Winry's ear. "Ed used to cry a lot in his sleep when he was younger...I wonder how many times Roy would ruffle his hair, or that I would wrap a blanked around that stubborn boyfriend of yours."

"You and Maria were romantic." Winry said then, pulling out of the embrace. "You two had something...something I've never had. How can you not feel that spark for her?"

"Well, it was never really a spark." Riza said then. "It was more like a luxury that got way out of hand."


End file.
